Local Cat Charged In Inflatable Snowman Murder

Edmonds, WA

A cat accused of killing a giant inflatable snowman last month told police he stabbed the snowman because it would not stop smiling at him, according to newly filed court documents.

The victim, Jack, a 2-year-old, nylon and mesh Inflatable Snowman, was originally from Wal-Mart.

Lorenzo the Cat, a 7-year-old, neutered, Domestic Long Hair, who is a retired Tom Ford model, is being held on a $10 million bond after appearing today in court charged with one count of murder in the first degree.


Lorenzo the Cat once graced the covers of GQ, Men’s Health, and other publications

Lorenzo was arrested at his home on December 8th, 2009, accused of beating Jack to death with a plastic Bob’s Big Boy bank. The Big Boy, 5, also lost his life.

The incident took place in front of Lorenzo's 2-year-old kitten. It stunned friends and family, and was gruesomely detailed in a recorded conversation with a 911 dispatcher.

“Daddy is killing the snowman,” said the frantic kitten to a 911 dispatcher who alerted police and local refrigeration repair units. Police later said Lorenzo hit the snowman so hard it dislodged the cheeseburger from the Big Boy’s hands and sadly ended his life as well.


This young Big Boy bank also lost his life in the atrocity

The young witness told Edmonds police he was lying on the couch resting when he saw signs of struggle outside the living room window, according to documents.

Coroner reports state the snowman succumbed due to blunt force trauma to the head. Police said Lorenzo, in a mad fit of agony, had attacked him because he “…wouldn‘t wipe that stupid grin off his face.”

Sadly, it was Jack’s last day on the job. Hired for a holiday stint as a cheerful, yard decoration, he was planning a boating trip with his wife and three snowballs to Lake Tahoe upon his return home.


Jack and his family were avid boaters, according to friends

The incident leaves Jack’s wife Fiona, a 4-year-old, Real Ice and Water Snowman, without much hope to support her family. She was mugged by a cat wielding a hair dryer 2 years ago. She suffered melting injuries and lost a limb, leaving her unable to do many office jobs.

“I’m really not sure what we are going to do for money now,” said Fiona. “Office people don’t like me near computers or electronics because I drip. Finding a job will be very hard.”

Lorenzo Photo under copyright: Courtesy of Lorenzo
Copyright The Kitty City Gazette